Have you ever experienced unbearable pain? As women, we leave ourselves vulnerable to many painful situations.

Love, indeed, can be blind. I was so in love with my husband that I gave my heart and soul to him. I no longer had my own identity. I was an extension of him. I gave up my career and devoted myself to him and his business.

My husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He had the best blood that Red Cross had ever seen and the Doctor said there was no spread of the cancer and that he would be fine with one kidney. So why would we spend time thinking negatively? We just lived our lives as if the future was waiting for us with open arms. Big mistake!

The operation was over - my husband was home recuperating, and I was off to resume business as usual. Our secretary came into my office and said that my husband had been taken to the hospital and that she would drive me there. I was shocked since he was fine when I left the house that morning. I wondered why the medical team would not let me in to see him when I arrived at the hospital and directed me to a "Quiet Room". Every few minutes one of the medical team would come in and tell me that they were working on him and it didn't look good. I still didn't get the picture until a Doctor told the trauma counselor in the room that I would need help. The Doctor then told me that my husband didn't make it. I refused to accept what he said and promptly walked right out of the hospital. Big mistake - denial set in and I led my life as if he was coming back. Reality set in when I was faced with returning to the business after the funeral in a new role - the owner!

I operated my husband's high tech business for over four years. New technology needed to be designed to meet customers' needs. I knew that I was not technically inclined enough to steer this project, nor did I trust it to anyone else since many people had tried to outsmart my husband with their technical jargon. What chance did I have?

I decided to sell the business on my own - Big mistake! I was too emotionally involved and of course thought the business was worth millions. After all, my husband and I had put all of our life savings into it and it was the only one of seven products like it in the world. Potential buyers did not think that it was as great an investment as I did, and they envisioned me as a widow who knew nothing about the business world and would just want to dump the company for any price. So now what - here I was a grieving widow who was determined to make sure that my husband's dream was carried on; however I was in an unfavorable position to negotiate the sale.

I interviewed many companies who said that they could sell my business easily, but I did not believe them. When I was just about to give up, a man named Doug Robbins, President of Robbinex Inc. came into my life. He took the time to explain how he would go about structuring the business for sale. He was patient, understanding and compassionate and guided me every inch of the way towards a successful sale. He gave me value enhancement ideas to implement and helped me to "paint the front door" to whet the appetite of potential buyers.

Once you decide that you want to sell your business you would think it would be a piece of cake, wouldn't you? Another mistake! It is a long, arduous process and it took close to a year to finalize the deal. I wasn't prepared for the stress that is involved with working in the business and also working on the sale of the business, all the while trying to keep it confidential from the staff and the competitors.

The statistics of women starting their own business is earth shattering. The number of women left with their husband's business and no succession plan in place is equally earth shattering.

Ten Big Mistakes Women Entrepreneurs Need To Avoid:

1. Balance your career and personal life - Giving up your own identity can be devastating when you lose a loved one especially when your whole life revolved around that person.

2. Don't run the well dry - Nurture yourself and balance what you give to others with the self-care that you need for yourself.

3. Protect your own Estate - Get your business and personal affairs in order and review the status of your estate at least every year.

4. Don't procrastinate - When you start your business ensure all of the proper agreements are in place, such as partnership agreements, prior to opening the doors.

5. Surround yourself with competent advisors - Get to know a licensed business intermediary when you start your business so that you can build a relationship and rely on their advice of creating a marketable business in the event that you want to sell it in the future. A resourceful accountant and a lawyer who specializes in transaction law are musts for your team. Of course, you will want to establish a solid relationship with your banker too. If you find yourself running a business on your own, the advice of talented men and women can be invaluable when your thinking may be marred by grief and stress.

6. Never give up - Competitors thought that they would put me out of business. Instead my company bought out a major competitor.

7. Believe in yourself - There was only one other woman besides myself in a senior management position in the industry my husband's business was in. We managed to hold our own in a male dominated industry.

8. Prepare for the unexpected - I never thought that my husband would die so prematurely. I made many mistakes in not protecting myself personally for the future. Get all your "ducks in order" and then chase your dream with the expectation that you will reap abundance in everything that you strive for.

9. Make a plan and protect it - My husband and I had a master plan but we did not protect it with mortgage insurance, sufficient life insurance, etc. When you make plans together, make plans that include the continuation of the plans without the other person in the picture.

10. Don't get stuck - I would not accept that my husband was gone for years and I got stuck with not getting on with my life. Eleven years of my life were a blur. Make your future crystal clear - feel the pain, accept what it has to offer and get on with the magnificent life that you were meant to lead.

The biggest mistake that you could make is by not preparing for the unexpected. Manifest your destiny and feel secure that you have done everything that you can to protect yourself, your loved ones and your dreams.

There is a happy ending to this story. I gave birth to my own public relations firm. Class Act Connections' mission is to connect people with success. Big mistake - I should have done it sooner!