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	<title>Women of Wisdom®</title>
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	<description>&#34;Inspiration By, For and About Women of a &#039;Certain Age&#039; with STORIES, TIPS, RESOURCES, COACHING &#38; MENTORING for Boomer and Senior Women&#34;</description>
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		<title>Tips for Attracting, Retaining and Growing Your Millennial Workforce</title>
		<link>http://womenofwisdom.com/tips-for-attracting-millennial-workforce/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=tips-for-attracting-millennial-workforce</link>
		<comments>http://womenofwisdom.com/tips-for-attracting-millennial-workforce/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Aug 2012 18:02:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>HeidiRichards</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Bottom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mentoring]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Younger Generations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[baby boomers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mentoring]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[millennials]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[role models]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[seniors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[younger generations]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://womenofwisdom.com/?p=501</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Terri Klass, Judy Lindenberger and Jean-Baptiste Marchais Part two of Next Generation: What They Want and Need from the Workplace Articulate your employer brand &#8211; communicate internally and externally what it means to work for your organization Have a clear statement about corporate responsibility – make this part of your employer brand and be committed [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>By Terri Klass, Judy Lindenberger and Jean-Baptiste Marchais</strong></p>
<p><em><a href="http://womenofwisdom.com/?attachment_id=502" rel="attachment wp-att-502"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-502" title="Young career minded millennials" src="http://womenofwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/millenials2-300x207.jpg" alt="&quot;Millenials at work&quot;" width="300" height="207" /></a>Part two of Next Generation: What They Want and Need from the Workplace</em></p>
<ul>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Articulate your employer brand &#8211; communicate internally and externally what it means to work for your organization</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Have a clear statement about corporate responsibility – make this part of your employer brand and be committed to deliver the promise</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Think creatively about how technology can be used to engage Millennials e.g. avatars, internal networking sites, etc.</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Create an on-boarding experience for Millennials that helps them learn your company culture</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Be crystal clear about company policies such as social media</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Set clear performance expectations and explain why something needs to be done</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Use e-mail and voicemail as primary tools when you cannot meet face-to-face</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Don’t force utilization of the chain of command</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Don’t talk down to them – they will resent it</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Provide them with feedback – early and often</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Hold them accountable and let them know when they have screwed up</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Tell them what they do well</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Judge them by what they accomplish rather than the number of hours they put in</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Encourage them to share their ideas with you</p>
</li>
<li>
<p align="JUSTIFY">Listen</p>
</li>
<li>Invest in personal development and training – explore coaching/mentoring programs</li>
<li>Provide variety and fresh challenges – consider promoting cycles of experience in other parts of the organization</li>
<li>Teach your Millennials to become problem solvers</li>
<li>Tell stories, share your wisdom, or teach them something you wish you would have known when you were their age</li>
<li>Think creatively about reward strategies and what motivates Millennials. For example, is it time to shift from cash bonuses and cars to other things?</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>A Millennial case study:</strong></p>
<p>Jennifer, a recent college graduate, is bright and hardworking. She has been working in a marketing department with a consumer products organization for about a year. Although she likes her job, she does not enjoy doing anything that she considers menial. She was planning on bringing this up to her boss at her annual performance review this week but was blown away when her boss told her that she had some areas that she needed to improve. She is upset because she wished she knew about her weaker performance areas earlier. She thinks that her boss has not done a good job of providing her with useful feedback to grow. Even though the market is tough, Jennifer thinks she should look for another job. She talks to her parents and friends about her concerns and starts to do online research about other marketing positions. In a few weeks, she sets up interviews with other organizations and takes off several days to go on interviews. Her boss calls her in and gives her a warning about taking so much time off. Jennifer is angry that her boss gave her a warning. She accepts a new job she was offered and hands in her resignation the following day.</p>
<p>What could Jennifer’s boss have done differently in managing and coaching her Millennial employee, Jennifer? Jennifer’s boss needed to provide more frequent feedback to Jennifer and be clear from the start about what areas she needed to work on. Her boss should never have saved up all the performance issues for the annual review. Her boss could have gotten input from Jennifer about her ideas regarding her job responsibilities and encouraged Jennifer to find a mentor. Her boss should have set a meeting up for follow up after the review.</p>
<p>What could have helped Jennifer? She needs to understand that all jobs have both interesting and menial components to them. She needs to learn not to overreact to a negative performance review and look at it as an opportunity to grow in her job. She could have set up a series of follow-up meetings with her boss and sought coaching from more experienced co-workers.</p>
<p>Organizations today need to understand and support each generation. Providing training on the differences between the generations will reduce conflict and improve communication and interaction. Offering mentoring programs will help grow all of your employees. Don’t delay. Your success depends on it.</p>
<p><em>For more information, contact Judy Lindenberger at info@lindenbergergroup or Terri Klass at terri@terriklassconsulting.com.</em></p>
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		<title>The Reinvention of Self and Living Life On Purpose</title>
		<link>http://womenofwisdom.com/the-reinvention-of-self/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=the-reinvention-of-self</link>
		<comments>http://womenofwisdom.com/the-reinvention-of-self/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 26 Aug 2012 18:19:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>HeidiRichards</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Bottom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Living on Purpose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[baby boomers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding purpose]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living large]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[purpose for life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reinvention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[seniors]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://womenofwisdom.com/?p=509</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[by Christine Laureano There comes a time in life when the same old way of doing things just doesn’t suffice. Its’ like the saying about, well, getting off the pot! Reinvention doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, choice, many sleepless nights and conversations with your girlfriends. And then when you’re ready to get serious, you [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong><a href="http://womenofwisdom.com/?attachment_id=510" rel="attachment wp-att-510"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-510" title="Living Life On Purpose" src="http://womenofwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/LivingLifeOnPurpose-300x198.png" alt="&quot;Reinventinn and finding Purpose: Boomer Generation&quot;" width="300" height="198" /></a>by Christine Laureano</strong></p>
<p>There comes a time in life when the same old way of doing things just doesn’t suffice. Its’ like the saying about, well, getting off the pot!</p>
<p>Reinvention doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, choice, many sleepless nights and conversations with your girlfriends. And then when you’re ready to get serious, you take action.</p>
<p>I know, I know, I hear you. You’ve been there, you’ve tried and you’re still in the same place – and not living close to your dreams.</p>
<p>This is where reinvention takes a turn. It has little to do with sharing conversations with your girlfriends. Though they say they have your best interest at heart, they’ll try to talk you out of living your dream. Why? Because they’re scared that they won’t be able to follow in your footsteps. Doubt and fear rushes in and the holding pattern continues.</p>
<p>It also has little to do with having tried before, spending sleepless night lying in the darkness, tears streaming down your face and praying to God for help to get you out of this mess.</p>
<p>Ok, here’s the turn. That stuff is all good, and by the way God/Spirit/Universe heard you in those dark moments, but were you listening for the answer?</p>
<p>What I’ve learned in my “reinvention” is that it all begins from where you are today – right now. Because what you wanted in the past probably isn’t what you want today. We have lived our lives not really knowing what we want. We think we know, but it actually turns out that what we thought we wanted was really someone else’s dream, somewhat else’s desire, someone else’s want.</p>
<p>The reinvention of self is about knowing exactly what you want – YOU, not your kids, not your spouse, not your mom or dad. It isn’t easy, believe me. I’ve been stuck there too until I let loose, thought outside the box and began to dream big.</p>
<p>The second part of the reinvention of self is to bring your life into purpose. Remember those tearful nights praying to God? Remember when I asked, are you listening for the answer? What happens in moments of despair and sadness it that we pour our hearts out, promising we’ll do anything to have things change. The next morning, in the light of day we begin the negotiation. We will do what it takes as long as “I’m not uncomfortable”, “as long as I don’t have to do work”, “as long as it’s easy and I can do it between my shows.”</p>
<p>When you are creating your life ON Purpose, listening for the answers means there is no negotiating and waiting for the answer to come “the way you want it.” This is the most difficult for people because it does mean change. It isn’t always easy, but it is always in the best interest of living ON Purpose. Listen for the subtle messages and insights. When synchronicity happens, know that is part of your answer.</p>
<p>Start to “feel” your way through your life rather than always being in “thinking” mode. When you connect with the way you feel, you are connecting with your heart. When you connect with your heart, you connect with your soul. And, when you connect with your soul you begin to uncover the deeper meaning to your life, you uncover your purpose. When you hit gold like this, you shine! You radiate your passion, you radiate your purpose and you become attractive. People can’t help connecting with you because there is an energy that draws them to you!</p>
<p>THAT is living life ON Purpose.</p>
<p>Reinvention will always be interesting. You will always have great stories. And, as you listen to the insights you will live your life ON Purpose.</p>
<p><em>Business Mentor, ON Purpose Living Coach and Visionary Leader, Christine Laureano collaborates with motivated, soul-inspired women to find the soul of their business and bring life to their brilliant ideas! She shows women how to connect with their core purpose in life so they can confidently build the business want and live their lives ON Purpose. Learn more at <a title="christine laureano" href="http://www.ChristineLaureano.com" target="_blank">www.ChristineLaureano.com</a></em></p>
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		<title>The Daily Resource &#8211; Work Reimagined</title>
		<link>http://womenofwisdom.com/the-daily-resource-work-reimagined/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=the-daily-resource-work-reimagined</link>
		<comments>http://womenofwisdom.com/the-daily-resource-work-reimagined/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 25 Aug 2012 17:40:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>HeidiRichards</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Daily Resource]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Top-Right]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jobs and Careers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[job hunting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jobs for boomers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[senior jobs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social networking and jobs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work reimagined]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://womenofwisdom.com/?p=491</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Knowing how to network effectively through social media is crucial to your career&#8220;, (as quoted in AARP magazine in the Networking News Section entitled &#8220;Find Good Jobs Online.&#8221; The article talked about a brand new job-finding-site powered by LinkedIn called Work Reimagined. The article gave some great tips on job-search basics on the site and on [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://womenofwisdom.com/the-daily-resource-work-reimagined/workreimagined/" rel="attachment wp-att-492"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-492" title="work reimagined" src="http://womenofwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/workreimagined-300x57.png" alt="&quot;work reimagined by aarp for job placement and recruitment&quot;" width="300" height="57" /></a>&#8220;<em>Knowing how to network effectively through social media is crucial to your career</em>&#8220;, (as quoted in AARP magazine in the Networking News Section entitled &#8220;Find Good Jobs Online.&#8221; The article talked about a brand new job-finding-site powered by LinkedIn called <a title="work reimagined by aarp.org" href="http://workreimagined.aarp.org/" target="_blank">Work Reimagined</a>.</p>
<p>The article gave some great tips on job-search basics on the site and on social media including:</p>
<p>1. Prepare to connect quickly by developing a brief work bio.  Become adept at telling new contacts in under a minute who you are, what you do best, what sets you apart and what you are looking for.  It goes on to say to focus on your skills not on past jobs.  Be sure to post that bio on your social media pages.</p>
<p>2. Control your online content. Think of it as your online resume&#8217;: include details about your skills, qualifications and abilities using the keywords you would in fact search for when looking for a job.  Update your profile and status regularly.</p>
<p>3. Help your job find you.  Follow companies that interest you.  Look for and connect with people in your field/industry. Join in on group discussions.  When you see a job post, find out if you have a connection to the individual or the company.</p>
<p>One thing I like about <a title="work reimagined" href="http://workreimagined.aarp.org/" target="_blank">Work Reimagined</a> is that they have made a commitment to recruit across all age groups.  Good news for Boomers and Seniors!</p>
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		<title>Next Generation Leaders: What They Want and Need from the Workplace</title>
		<link>http://womenofwisdom.com/next-generation-leaders-what-they-want-and-need-from-the-workplace-2/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=next-generation-leaders-what-they-want-and-need-from-the-workplace-2</link>
		<comments>http://womenofwisdom.com/next-generation-leaders-what-they-want-and-need-from-the-workplace-2/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Aug 2012 18:02:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>HeidiRichards</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Bottom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mentoring]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Younger Generations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[baby boomers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mentoring]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[millennials]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[role models]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[seniors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[younger generations]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://womenofwisdom.com/?p=496</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Terri Klass, Judy Lindenberger and Jean-Baptiste Marchais Have you ever wondered what makes the Millennials tick? So did we, so in the fall of 2011, we interviewed Millennials and their managers to learn more about this generation. Because many of our clients struggle with how to best integrate Millennials into the workplace, we interviewed [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong><a href="http://womenofwisdom.com/next-generation-leaders-what-they-want-and-need-from-the-workplace-2/mentoringmillenials/" rel="attachment wp-att-497"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-497" title="mentoring millenials" src="http://womenofwisdom.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/mentoringmillenials-300x195.jpg" alt="mentoring millennials" width="300" height="195" /></a>By Terri Klass, Judy Lindenberger and Jean-Baptiste Marchais</strong></p>
<p><em>Have you ever wondered what makes the Millennials tick?</em> So did we, so in the fall of 2011, we interviewed Millennials and their managers to learn more about this generation. Because many of our clients struggle with how to best integrate Millennials into the workplace, we interviewed Millennials and their managers through face to face and telephone interviews. The people we interviewed came from a variety of organizations and industries, ranging from Fortune 500 companies to small companies. The survey spanned different industries including the drug industry, engineering, biotechnology and financial services.</p>
<p><strong>Just who are the Millennials?</strong></p>
<p>Born between the years of 1977 – 1997, the Millennials are the youngest generation to enter the workplace. Millennials grew up with school shootings, terrorist attacks, AIDS, the Exxon Valdez spill and the Internet which influenced their view of the world. As children, they experienced everyone getting awards for playing sports and went to school at a time when gold stars were handed out freely. As a result, Millennials want frequent feedback. Millennials grew up with Baby Boomer parents, many who are self-professed workaholics, and therefore desire more work/life balance than their parents had.</p>
<p>They are resourceful and able to multi-task. They can Google, email and write a report at the same time; they can comfortably find information through the Internet. They work well in team environments and are comfortable speaking up. They also want to make an immediate impact in their jobs and move up quickly.</p>
<p>According to the managers who we spoke with, their Millennial employees are energetic and creative. They also are flexible, technology-savvy, resourceful, can retrieve information quickly and efficiently, and are open minded. Millennial employees are not afraid of discovering new things; they want to learn and are eager to try something new.</p>
<p><strong>What Do They Want?</strong></p>
<p>Millennials report that they have a great vision of the world. They consider the world as something positive with a lot of opportunities. Millennials told us things like, “The world has endless possibilities” and “There are so many things to learn and to be exposed to and not enough time to do everything”.</p>
<p>Their attraction to fast-paced environments and their self-confidence allows them to handle multiple tasks without a problem. However, it is important to find a balance regarding workload. Too much of a workload could turn them off, not enough could reduce their enthusiasm. Also, workplace flexibility is a benefit that Millennials value. We heard comments like, “I usually work eleven hours a day but I am satisfied by the fact that my boss doesn’t demand a strict 9 – 5schedule.”</p>
<p>One thing that stood out is that many of the Millennials we spoke to are interested in working for an employer whose corporate ethics match their own. We heard comments like, “I want to work for a company that has the same values that I do.” and, “I would like to work in a company helps the world and uses green technologies”.</p>
<p><strong>What Frustrates Them?</strong></p>
<p>Something we heard over and over again in talking with the Millennials we interviewed is that they want to hear the truth from their bosses, they want feedback and they want it right away. One Millennial commented, “I want honesty, respect, open communication, to be informed constantly, and to learn my manager’s expectations.”</p>
<p>The time to leverage the talents and welcome the Millennials into organizations is now. More experienced workers are rapidly nearing retirement age and their accumulated wisdom and expertise could soon be walking out the door. In addition, Millennials are actively asking for more training, coaching and mentoring opportunities. Bringing together older workers’ experience and Millennials’ creativity can lead to groundbreaking innovations. Here are a few ways to provide mentoring for Millennials:</p>
<p>Create an open mentoring culture where people learn from each other in a wide variety of formal and informal relationships.</p>
<p>Use technology to help people sign up and get connected.</p>
<p><strong>What Gets in the Way?</strong></p>
<p>Managers tell us that Millennials prefer communicating through e-mail; they do not like face to face meetings as much. Millennials tend to lose concentration easily because of technologies, spending time checking texts, e-mails, etc. One manager told us, “They are distracted by technologies and social media.”</p>
<p>Millennials may choose the fastest path to the solution and think they deserve to be promoted quickly. The energy and enthusiasm they can generate can be considered a challenge by their managers. One manager said, “They are highly ambitious, but they have short term goals. They want to reach management quickly and need to be managed very carefully with career paths that keep them from jumping to other companies.”</p>
<p>They are inexperienced at understanding the complexity of politics and process, underestimate them and focus on the short term. A manager said, “They need to understand company policies and work within them as opposed to making up their own rules.” A Millennial said, “I want to understand and manage politics and learn effective project management strategies.”</p>
<p><strong>What do Managers Need to Know to Support and Help Them Develop?</strong></p>
<p>Millennials have a real desire to learn and grow, which is advantageous to organizations because as Baby Boomers and others retire from the workplace there will be a need for Millennials to take over leadership positions more quickly than generations before them. There’s a perfect match between the Millennials’ desire to make an immediate contribution, to be leaders, and to learn and grow in their organizations, and the need for them to quickly take over leadership roles. This means that frequent performance appraisals, mentoring programs, coaching and training will be essential for growing and sustaining leaders. A Millennial said, “I want to know when my manager is happy with the work that is done and if he is expecting more.” Another commented, “I want the opportunity to shadow others and learn about areas outside my scope of responsibility.”</p>
<p><strong>How Can Human Resources Support These Emerging Leaders</strong>?</p>
<p>As Millennials move into management and leadership positions, we predict that there will be an emphasis on them asking others for their opinions as opposed to “it’s my way or the highway”. There will be respect for different points of view and different opinions. There will be greater teamwork, a lot of creativity and a lot of having fun as well as working hard.</p>
<p><em>For more information, contact Judy Lindenberger at info@lindenbergergroup or Terri Klass at terri@terriklassconsulting.com.</em></p>
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		<title>A Bittersweet Parting</title>
		<link>http://womenofwisdom.com/a-bittersweet-parting/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=a-bittersweet-parting</link>
		<comments>http://womenofwisdom.com/a-bittersweet-parting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Jul 2012 15:44:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>HeidiRichards</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[A &#8220;Short Story&#8221; By D. R. Hamilton One spring I was called back to Edinburgh for training and the date happened to coincide with my manager’s birthday. Naturally we planned a celebration, but what thrilled me more was that I would meet Mac’s three grown children- a physician and two attorneys. Mac had made no secret [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>A &#8220;Short Story&#8221; By D. R. Hamilton</strong></p>
<p>One spring I was called back to Edinburgh for training and the date happened to coincide with my manager’s birthday. Naturally we planned a celebration, but what thrilled me more was that I would meet Mac’s three grown children- a physician and two attorneys. Mac had made no secret of the fact that we were seeing each other and that he found me attractive and interesting.</p>
<p>I was finishing university and working part-time in a pub on Edinburgh’s Royal Mile when I met Mac. It happened that every afternoon this tall distinguished gentleman in his early 80’s would stop in for his customary whiskey after leaving the office. He was well over 6’ tall, solidly built, and his arresting shock of silver grey hair gave him the appearance of an aging lion. Mac was in the real estate investment business and when he understood that I was an American, he plied me with all sorts of questions about US land values. What I didn’t know, I made up. We became friends and I looked forward to his silver pennant sailing through our doors in mid afternoon.</p>
<p>Eventually I did graduate. But before I could make further plans, Mac offered me a job as his North American agent. I’d live and work on the east coast returning to Scotland several times a year for instruction and planning. I felt genuine affection for him as I would for a father.</p>
<p>Mac would make occasional trips to the US, and I’d usually meet him in New York City. Naturally it was not all work and we frequently found ourselves as dinner companions with occasional visits to the opera or symphony which we both enjoyed. I grew to enjoy his company as the reality of our status as employer and employee faded.</p>
<p>By the time I reached 50 years old, I thought I had the world and my place in it all figured out. Now, as I sat across the table from Mac, 30 years my senior, I realized how much I didn’t know. My life experience, sheltered and a little impoverished, seemed a poor comparison to the richly embroidered fabric of his. As a boy, he had helped his father rescue British troops from that terrible debacle at Dunkirk. As a young man, he became a local Laird, building roads and schools for his tenants. He founded and ran several businesses including a whiskey distillery.</p>
<p>He rose above the tragedy of loosing two wives and now seemed at peace with the world. He was such a contrast with the men in my age bracket that I had known. These men were fixated on the latest pill, what the government owed them, the ingratitude of their children and their latest pain. Mac was dynamic. He talked about his latest business plan, the charity that he was supporting, the upcoming symphony, the accomplishments of his 3 adult children and even his latest fly fishing victory. I was falling for this man’s charms and it was going much farther that filial piety.</p>
<p>I noticed that habit and tradition play a big part in a man of this vintage. He always wore a tie, sometimes carried a stick and gloves, and he had a vast collection of hats. On his first trip to New York City, we spent half a day going to every liquor store in midtown to find the exact same single malt whiskey that he drank back home.</p>
<p>“<em>Its nae ‘at Ah hae th’ taste fur the whiskey Lass, but th’ bottle looks sae braw oan th’ table</em>”, he said in his thick brogue.</p>
<p>Once at the symphony as the lights went low, he slipped his hand over mine in my lap. We held hands and he caressed my leg. When the lights came up, I was astonished to see my hose in tatters. It seems his rhinestone cuff links that he always wore had lost a stone, and the setting had snagged and torn my hose. Rhinestone cufflinks-the only flaw I saw in this man.</p>
<p>He was a gallant in the old world sense. When he was with me I felt like a queen. Opening doors and taking my arm came naturally to him. On one occasion we were walking down a city street at night past a group of young toughs in a doorway.</p>
<p>“<em>Hey girl, I got somethin for ya that ole dude don’t have</em>”. Mac sprang at their leader like a tiger. His huge gnarled fist smashed down on the man’s head and literally floored him. Mac took my arm and we strolled off down the street.</p>
<p>“<em>Them ‘at dornt respect their elders will damn well respect their betters</em>” was his only response. I was ashamed to have been frightened, but to see this 80 Year-old guy spring to my defense without a moment’s hesitation. I had turned the corner. I loved this man.</p>
<p>Naturally intimacy eventually entered our relationship. I had felt like a spinster for so long I hardly recognized the feelings. But it was different now. The old athletic lust to satisfy ourselves was gone, replaced by the desire to pleasure our partner. Pleasure was pleasure and the young had no exclusive hold on it. I did learn however, to start early in the evening.</p>
<p>I arrived in Edinburgh for his birthday a day early and spent my time getting my hair styled into the usual layered bob, my nails done and even a trip to the spa for exfoliation. I selected a long red plaid skirt, black turtleneck sweater, and elegant black leather boots- just the thing for a daytime affair at a Scottish manor house in the country. Mac picked me up at the little B &amp; B where I usually stay, and we were off to the countryside. The house at the end of a little country lane overlooking the Firth of Forth was at least 200 years old. Its grey stone walls and tiny crenellated windows gave no clue that little children once played in its shadows, and I was about to meet them.</p>
<p>We swept into a baronial entrance hall to meet the children before a cracking fire that made the stone walls dance a lively jig. The young man was tall and craggy like his father, excepting that his arresting shock of hair was coal black. The elder daughter was tall, slim and elegant, and wore a royal blue velvet skirt that added to her regal appearance.</p>
<p>Surprisingly, the younger daughter was a petite blond who wore a hacking jacket and riding breeches. After the usual paternal greetings, Mac put his arm around my waist to introduce me.</p>
<p>Nothing could have prepared me for the icy reception I received. They offered their hand without an embrace. Their eyes were cold and penetrating and they made no effort to engage me in conversation. Dinner was more of the same. I had overstepped some boundary and my mind raced to identify the problem. I excused myself as early as I possibly could and Mac drove me back home. He was silent and clearly as troubled and bewildered as I.</p>
<p>I guess I figured it out on the plane returning to the US. The children viewed me as an adventuress out to get the old man’s money. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. Marriage would have been so obvious an attempt to enrich myself that I never could have followed through with it. I would have been content to have Mac for the few times a year that we could be together and from all he said, that was his intention as well.</p>
<p>Still the children were troubled and I know this weighed on his heart. I felt I had no right to come between this man and his children at this stage in his life. We would have to end our affair- and that’s exactly what we did.</p>
<p>Some will argue that love should triumph, that the children were selfish, and an old man’s happiness should be paramount. But society judges differently. This man and his family by blood were the most important. I had the good sense to realize that &#8211; or perhaps I loved him enough to give him up</p>
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