By Amy Cameron O’Rourke, author of The Fragile Years

As a professional care manager for more than 40 years, it is my passion to help people & their loved ones find peace and joy as they age.  

Our older years can provide a beautiful opportunity for connection, meaning, and joy.  But staying healthy and vibrant takes some work, and that work begins with the brain.  From my extensive interactions with older adults, I have found 7 steps to be the most effective in keeping the brain in shape during the Fragile Years.

The first step: express yourself and be in touch with your emotions. 

While this has not yet been studied, I’ve noticed that people who do not confront their emotions develop memory loss and decreased alertness much more often than those who are emotionally aware. Confronting and staying in touch with emotions can take a variety of forms, from sharing them aloud in conversations with family, friends, or support groups to meditating, journaling or creating music or art.  Each individual has their comfort zone.  The important thing is to pick one or two of these activities, and practice regularly. 

The second step: stay socially engaged. 

When you’re older, there is a higher risk of isolation and less social interaction than in your younger years. And isolation is a predictor of memory loss. With that fact, staying socially engaged keeps the brain working while also helping to give a sense of purpose. 

To stay engaged socially, try making friends of different ages who do things you enjoy or volunteering at an organization whose cause you believe in such as animal shelters, Girls/Boys Clubs, your church or synagogue, music groups, science centers or museums.

Try something new as well, like art classes, singing, or even a part-time job. Many universities also offer lifelong learning programs for older adults, where they can take weekly classes on a huge variety of topics.

A client of mine is a recovering alcoholic who works at a 24-hour hotline. Another answers questions by phone about gardening for a local gardening center. 

Two friends of mine in their 70’s help friends with their yards, as they are both avid gardeners. They call themselves the Garden Desperadoes.

There are endless ideas for social engagement – and age should never be a limitation. 

The third step: multitask both physically and mentally.

There are countless activities that can easily stimulate the mind and body at the same time. By doing these types of activities multiple times on a daily basis, your memory will thank you later. Activities such as walking, talking with family and friends, watering the plants or dusting while singing or listening to the news, painting easily accessible areas around the house while listening to your favorite music, or cooking while carrying out a conversation. These are all very doable in the Fragile Years.

The fourth step: maintain a healthy diet.

There is a high correlation between diabetes and dementia, as well as between obesity and dementia. Eating a more plant-based diet can help to prevent not only obesity and diabetes, but also dementia. Having a healthy diet all of the time is never easy, so do what you can to ensure you’ll make healthier eating decisions. Explore farmer’s markets. Try healthier food substitutes. For example, cauliflower rice instead of regular rice, honey instead of sugar, yogurt instead of ice cream, or bean burgers instead of beef burgers. If it’ll help you eat healthier and transportation is a challenge, buy your groceries from health-based food delivery services. 

The fifth step: taking care of hearing loss. 

Hearing loss is also correlated to early memory loss. Addressing hearing loss by seeking hearing aids where needed helps to prevent this. Often, though, hearing loss can be hard to identify so it’s important to pay attention to the signs. One indicator that a hearing aid might be needed: when you start to ask, “What did you say?” or “What?!” a lot, suggesting that your hearing is in decline. Also, when more than one family member or friend tells you they ARE speaking loudly, believe them. 

The sixth step: avoiding anesthesia whenever possible in your Fragile Years.

Anesthesia is known to cause memory loss. The National Institute of Health is currently conducting in-depth research about this correlation. 

When considering surgery for yourself or an older loved one, weigh the pros and cons carefully. Think about your values. If you value your cognitive health, it might be better to avoid surgery. If you already have memory loss and receive anesthesia, your memory will very likely get worse. In fact, the benefits of surgery decrease considerably after 80; it might be wise to favor memory and cognitive health over the uncertain outcome of surgery. 

The seventh step: accept help before you think you need it. 

It can be very hard to put aside the pride and the fear that so often stands in the way of accepting help of any sort, including with day-to-day tasks. But in fact, resisting help is what really puts people into a facility. Adults entering their Fragile Years often resist help because they fear it is a sign that the end of life is approaching. An older client once told me that she saw accepting a caregiver as “the beginning of the end.” More so, there may even be a refusal to accept the fact that they are actually aging, which stems  from fear of no longer being in control.  

But accepting help with seemingly small things, such as setting up a Zoom call, accepting a ride rather than driving or taking the bus and getting groceries delivered, will help with social engagement and nutrition — two key areas mentioned above — while helping prevent the potential need for help on a much larger scale.  

With these seven steps, both your brain and your quality of life will be in much better shape during your Fragile Years. 

"Amy Cameron O'Roarke"About the author:

40-year professional care manager known as the ‘aging expert’ Amy Cameron O’Rourke, author of The Fragile Years, explains that longevity and healthy aging all start with the brain.






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